Talking to Your Child About Healthy Relationships
As children grow, friendships and romantic relationships become an important part of their development. But children don’t automatically know what a healthy relationship looks like. Without guidance, many turn to peers, media, or the internet- sources that may not promote respect or safety.
Research indicates that when parents discuss relationships openly, children are more adept at identifying warning signs and are less likely to engage in risky behaviors (CDC, 2022). Tackling these conversations may feel uncomfortable, but your voice is one of the most powerful influences in your child’s life.
What Do Healthy Relationships Look Like?
Teaching your child to recognize the difference between healthy and unhealthy behaviors gives them tools to protect themselves and others.
Healthy Relationships Include:
Respecting each other’s boundaries
Supporting one another’s interests
Honest, kind communication
Feeling safe, valued, and cared for
Unhealthy or Warning Signs Include:
Put-downs, criticism, or controlling behavior
Pressure to send photos or do things that feel wrong
Isolation from friends or family
One person always holding the power or control
Key Topics to Cover With Your Child
Dating Violence & Respect
The facts: Nearly 1 in 3 adolescents in the U.S. experiences physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal abuse from a dating partner (Love Is Respect, 2023)
What to teach: Healthy dating relationships are built on trust, respect, and equality. Warning signs include jealousy, threats, or attempts to isolate your child from friends or family. Reinforce that everyone deserves to feel safe.
Sexting & Digital Safety
The facts: About 1 in 7 teens has sent a sext, and 1 in 4 has received one (Common Sense Media, 2020)
What to teach: Talk about the risks, including pressure to send photos, images being shared without consent, and possible legal consequences. Encourage self-respect, the power to say “no”, and remind them that screenshots last forever.
Substances & Relationships
The facts: Alcohol and drugs are often present in situations of teen dating violence and can impair judgment (CDC, 2019).
What to teach: Explain how substances can lower a young person’s ability to set or respect boundaries. Encourage safe choices and role-play scenarios where they practice saying no.
Pornography & Media Messages
The facts: Most teens are exposed to pornography by age 13, and violent pornography is linked to higher acceptance of aggression and increased risk of dating violence (Culture Reframed, 2021)
What to teach: Stress that real intimacy is caring, respectful, and mutual- not based on control, coercion, or harm. Help your child develop media literacy skills to question what they see online.
How to Start the Conversation
Be proactive, not reactive: Don’t wait for your child to bring it up. Use TV shows, music, or news stories as conversation starters.
Create safe spaces: Make sure your child knows they can ask questions without fear, judgment, or punishment.
Be honest and age-appropriate: Tailor your language to their developmental stage. Younger kids need simple concepts: teens need direct conversations.
Keep it ongoing: One talk isn’t enough. Revisit the topic often as your child grows and relationships evolve.
Final Thoughts
Talking about healthy relationships is not just about preventing problems; it’s about equipping your child with the skills to build positive, respectful connections throughout life.
Open, honest communication at home is one of the best protections against unhealthy or unsafe relationships. By starting these conversations early and revisiting them often, you can empower your child to make safer, healthier choices.